lights on.

Yesterday I reactivated my interest in my deviantART account, made a nice new password for myself and dived into a little Aladdin's cave of things I had written and explored a couple of years ago.


I found a poem that I wrote in which the last couple of lines sort of sums up how I'm feeling at the moment:


Lights on - 
now discover yourself within.


It was liberating, and almost exhilarating, to find tokens of my self-expression from previous years, and to realise that it is okay for me to access that again, and to celebrate it whole-heartedly!


My sense of self is growing by the day.


Usually when I come home from university, I shy away from catching up with old friends from school, and as a result end up feeling quite lonely. But this year, I have been brave and had two consecutive evenings of seeing people whom I hadn't seen in a couple of years. It was actually really comforting to see them and hear about what other people have been doing since they left school. I was also relieved to find that quite a lot of people are still at university as well, so it isn't just me!


Sometimes the thought of spending another 2 and a half years at university studying medicine does bog me down, but then I remember that I do really enjoy what I'm doing, and also that studying medicine doesn't mean I have to ignore or forget the other things in life that I enjoy. My grandad said to me yesterday, "University is all about the width of your experiences, not just focusing on a few fine details." He also told me that I really do have to sing. And he's right. I'm going to toot my horn and say that I have a really wonderful voice, and I must use it, otherwise it would be a massive waste. 


Needless to say, I will probably spend most of day dancing around my parents kitchen and singing at the top of my voice to my SING SING SING playlist on spotify! My idea of a perfect Christmas Eve...